l>.head font-family:Arial,Helvetica,Verdana; font-size:16px; font-weight:bold;.body font-family:arial, verdana, sans-serif; font-size:13px;.top font-family:Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:11px; joke Time!!! joke Time!!! posted by jan Bulagik ~ above April 07, 1997 in ~ 11:22:51HUMPTY DUMPTYHumpty Dumpty satellite on a wall.Humpty Dumpty had a good fall.All the King"s Horses and also all the King"s males Came and also ate scrambled eggs again. Father Bear : Someone has been eat my porridge. Mother Bear : Someone has actually been eat my porridge.Baby be affected by each other (crying): Someone has been eat my porridge!Granny be affected by each other : Oh, will you all please reduced it out?! i haven"t even served the porridge yet! Why is a pig"s tail like acquiring up in ~ 3 am? ... Its twirly. Why go Robin Hood rob just the rich? ... Because the poor had no money. Equine walks into a bar. Bartender asks him, "Why the lengthy face?" 2 peanuts walking down the street, one of them"s a salted. What type of rocks space on the bottom that the Mississippi River? WET rocks. What is a plumbers favourite flower? ... Draineeums. What carry out you call a pumped-up pumpkin? ... A jock o"lantern. ... See the long one in the version 1 page around Dr. Seuss, too. Essay top top harmful impacts of oil top top sea life native an elementary-age youngster in England: "When my Mum opened up a tin of sardines last night it was complete of oil. And also sure enough, every the sardines to be dead." exam question: What space the advantages of mother"s milk over other develops of milk?Answer: It"s cleaner, it"s cheaper and also the cat can"t gain it. A teacher request her course for sentence using words "beans". "My father grow beans," said one student."My dad cooks beans," stated another.Then a 3rd spoke increase : "We space all human beans." Isn"t do a smoking ar in a restaurant a little like do a peeing section in the swim pool? "Eggplant" - A place where chickens work. A six-year-old girl"s check out of "people:" civilization are composed of girls and boys, also men and women. Boys room no an excellent at all until they grow up and also get married. Males who don"t get married are no an excellent either. Boys room an horrible bother. Lock want whatever they see except soap. My mommy is a woman and also my dad is a man. A mrs is a grown increase girl v children. Mine dad is together a nice male that i think the must have been a girl as soon as he to be a small boy. One horsepower: the energy required to drag a dead horse 550 feet in 1 second. A famous magazine photographer to be dispatched to a well known haunted residence to get shots of the apparition residing there. In the haunted house, when the clock win 12 midnight, the apparition appeared on the staircase landing. Amazingly, the apparition make (like a super-model) for the photographer! yet lighting was very bad at the moment and also the camera speed batteries were LOW. Anyway, the photographer snapped away. However the images did no come out well because of the low batteries. He later described to his ceo at the newspaper this way: "The soul was willing, yet the flash was weak." so the Symphony Orchestra was playing a concert in the park and was in the center of Beethoven"s 9th Symphony. The basses, in the ago of the orchestra, chose they had actually a few minutes to spare prior to being asked to play anything, so they ran throughout the street to the pub for some ale. It was a publicly day, so they found some string come wrap approximately their music stands come secure your music if they were gone. Once at the tavern, they could hear the music and keep up through the progression of the piece. After ~ one, two or possibly three rounds, they chose that they had actually to hurry since the last movement of the 9th symphony to be underway.

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Lock stumbled ago onto the bandstand and were fumbling v the string, make the efforts to get it loose, yet not having actually much success. The conductor witnessed \ what was happening and instantly size up the situation: it was the bottom of the ninth, the score was tied and the basses to be loaded.